yesterday's scab.

you know when you have a scab, and how you can't leave it alone. and then people go ahead and make the comparison of literal scabs and emotional scabs. this is what I am thinking about today. mostly because I have a rather garish gash on my left shin that I can't leave alone. I see it, I think about it. I run my finger along it, and I can't help but just test it out, just to see how its healing, to see if it still hurts the same as it did yesterday. I know that giving it attention only gives it a longer leg-scab life, but I have to know. I have to know how its healing. and each time its never ready to be prodded at. I inquire of it, it cries. I await the day I will peal away the last shred of memory patching up the gash and watch as nothing happens, as I feel nothing and then I finally can let it exist as a fading scar, only occasionally noticing its remnants but each time forgetting bits and bits of how it got there.